7 Lessons I’m Taking Into 2023 – Season 4 Wrapped

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That’s a wrap on S4 of the Deep Dive 🎉 In this episode I look back at some of the key lessons I’ve learned from this season including from conversations with Tara Swart, Alex Hormozi, Russell Foster, Caspar Lee, Timothy Armoo, Matthew Hussey and Lana Blakely. But before I bring this season to a close I have one small favour. At the moment, 81% of people who listen to and watch the the podcast on YouTube aren’t subscribed – I’ve set myself a 2023 goal to bring this number down to 50%. So if you’ve ever liked any of the videos that I make please hit the subscribe button and join the fun. Enjoy the episode!

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Season 4 Episode 13

00:00 Intro
01:50 Tara Swart: How to improve your brain performance
15:05 Alex Hormozi: How to pay off ignorance debt
27:16 Russell Foster: How to optimise sleep to increase potential
37:29 Caspar Lee: How to break through your comfort zone
45:04 Timothy Armoo: How to gamify business and work
53:21 Mathew Hussey: How to find deep and lasting relationships
01:07:02 Lana Blakely: How to live more intentionally


S4 E4 Tara Swart –
S4 E3 Alex Hormozi –
S4 E2 Russell Foster –
S4 E5 Caspar Lee –
S4 E6 Timothy Armoo –
S4 E12 Matthew Hussey –
S4 E9 Lana Blakely –


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Hey friends and welcome back to Deep Dive if you're new here my name is Ali And every week it's my immense privilege To sit down with authors and Entrepreneurs and academics and creators And other inspiring people we found out How they got to where they are and the Strategies and tools we can learn from Them to help us build our best lives to Build lives that we love this episode is Going to be a bit of a Roundup episode Of seven of the lessons that I'm taking Into the next year which have been from Seven different episodes of this season I can't believe we're at the end of Season four already and it really does Feel like this last year has absolutely Flown by and I've had some absolutely Incredible conversations throughout this Podcast and actually so many that we've Actually pre-recorded for the next Season of the podcast as well so that's Going to be super fun too this year has Also been a pretty exciting year for This podcast as a whole according to the Stats that we got from spotify's Unwrapped thingy 97 of you discovered The podcast this year so only three Percent of you were watching or Listening in 2021 which is great to see The growth and the kind of new Discoverability of the podcast the Podcast was in the top one percent Globally of most shared podcasts so

Massive thank you if you have shared the Episodes or the podcast or anything with Friends or family or anyone in your life And we even managed to break into seven Podcast charts for a total of 275 days So we stayed in the charts for three Quarters of the year which I think is Pretty good for a seasonal podcast and Very excitingly this podcast has been Listened to just on Spotify alone to Listeners in 147 countries all around The world now just one final thing for Me before we roll the seven different Lessons that I'm taking into 2023 which Is that um at the moment according to The YouTube analytics 81 of you who are Watching this on YouTube have not yet Hit the Subscribe button and so if You're for example in the now 81 of People who are watching this on YouTube But who are not subscribed to the Channel I would love it if you could do So and would be awesome to get that Number down to 50 and it would be cool To get like 50 50 sub non-sub ratio just Just for fun anyway that's all the Rambling from me thank you so much for Being a watcher a viewer or a listener Of this podcast for the last year and Now let's play The Seven top lessons That I'm taking away from the season Into the new year what are the things That we can do to improve our brain Performance

So we talk about Things like Rest which is sleep and also sort of Downtime nutrition is super important so The brain is obviously a tiny proportion Of your body weight and only weighs a Few kilos but it uses up up to 30 Percent of the breakdown products of What you eat so when you're asleep your Brain is is eating up 20 of what you ate That day when you're at work Um and focused on something it's using Up about a quarter of what you eat and When you're stressed it's using up up to 30 percent oh well yeah and so obviously People think what should I eat if I want To be healthy generally or I want to Lose weight or I want to build muscle Mass but the sorts of people that you Know like you and the people that I work With Aren't thinking enough about what should I be eating so I can make the best Decisions today what should I be eating So I can solve complex problems what Should should I be eating so I can Understand what's going on like in terms Of interpersonal Communication in my Teeth with my team for example And then there's everything from Hydration exercise Um breathing mindfulness curiosity like There's there's so many factors that Contribute

To brain health and They're probably not dissimilar to Things as a doctor that you would know Contribute to cardiovascular health or Gastrointestinal Health but You know we at Heights feel that if you Approach everything with a brain care First attitude then you're kind of Taking care of the rest of the stuff Like if you eat and drink in a way That's good for your brain your skin and Your hair are going to look nicer I mean And I that sounds like a such a girly Thing to say but people make a lot of Really important choices based on What they look like and and that's fine And that probably has like beneficial Effects on our in our brains and our Guts as well but considering this organ Is so energy hungry and it's so Important in terms of everything else That happens in your body I feel like we need to flip that Narrative so that it's starting with Okay what can I what things can I do Today that are going to be the best for My brain I wonder if we can start with The nutrition thing then and I guess What should me and I guess listeners and Viewers be thinking about when it comes To nutrition like or is it all just the Stuff that everyone kind of knows but Doesn't implement or do you feel like There's actually a knowledge Gap in an

Understanding gap or if it's just a Actually Implement implementing the Things that we all know we probably Should do I like to think there's a bit Of both so I think there's a lot of Things that are in the public domain That people are aware of that we all Know we should be doing but we're not Necessarily always doing but there are Definitely fun Neuroscience facts that I Can throw in that that I would guess Maybe even you haven't heard of so Should we try yeah perfect yeah okay so Um I would say like level one is that You eat three healthy meals a day and And maybe you snack in between if you Need to and when I say healthy mostly Plant-based you know maybe some fish and Eggs minimal amounts of of other types Of meat Um Foods that contain high amounts of water And good fats so a bit of dairy Fatty fish nuts and seeds berries I mean I'm already going above level one I Would say with some of those but but you Know three healthy meals a day that kind Of food question on that front yeah Intermittent fasting yeah yeah so level Two oh but that's level two okay if You're not eating healthily generally Yeah if you're not sleeping around Seven to eight hours fifteen a night Drinking enough water making sure you're

Not sedentary don't bother with Intermittent fasting you need to have Those foundations correct if you're Doing all that good stuff and maybe even Meditating then you can take it to the Next level which is Um the first level would be time Restricted eating so for example I only Eat between 12 noon and 8 pm So I'm essentially doing a 16 hour fast Overnight which has all sorts of Benefits on longevity and cancer risk Reduction and and once you get used to It it's also it's also good for your Your mental performance And then the third level which I'm Considering doing again the rest of this Year but I haven't quite got there yet Is what I think is proper intermittent Fasting which is that for two days of The week you reduce your calorie intake To for women 500 calories and for men 600 calories a day and the other days of The week you eat normally But in all three of those stages you Still have to be eating the kinds of Foods that I mentioned and so this is Tell me whether you knew this or not but For in terms of brain optimization Eating dark-skinned Foods is much better Than just eating general you know the Leafy greens or the saladskinned yeah Like blueberries rather than Strawberries or raspberries okay purple

Sprouting broccoli rather than green Broccoli black beans and black chickpeas Rather than cannellini beans or normal Chickpeas why why something I had no Idea like what so the skin and things Like eggplant as well I think this the The Um in the skin of Darker foods and Actually you'll like this because it Does include good quality coffee oh Perfect and dark chocolate that's over 80 cocoa Um there are substances called Anthocyanins that are really powerful Antioxidants and they contribute to Something called neurogenesis so there's Three ways of growing your brain if you Like and I and I use that in a as a Metaphor Um And the hardest one in adults is For embryonic nerve cells to actually Grow into neurons and connect up with Other neurons in your brain and so Aerobic exercise and foods that contain High levels of anthocyanins can Contribute to neurogenesis it's going For a run is good going for a run is Good Um if you're feeling guilty because you Haven't been going for a run then when You do regular aerobic exercise the cell Turnover is sort of 13 14 Of neurogenesis if you have haven't been

Doing exercise for some time and you Start again it can actually be up to 30 So to me that's the perfect excuse for Every time I fall off my schedule of Exercise and I start again that I'm Really boosting my neurogenesis but you Know I'm never sedentary but I'm not Always doing like full-on aerobic at Sort of more high intensity exercise so Okay yeah so one mechanism is Neurogenesis the one that makes our Brain grow what are the other two so Neurogenesis is the embryonic cells Growing into new neurons The next one is synapse synaptic Connection which is already existing Neurons connecting up with each other to Make stronger Pathways and the third one Which you'll be well aware of is Myelination which is a fatty substance That coats some Pathways in the brain And body and there's a reason that so And that leads to faster conduction of Electrical signals along those Pathways And there are reasons that we have some Pathways that are myelinated and some That aren't like for example If you put your hand in a fire Your reflex to snap your hand out of the Fire is a fast myelinated pathway but Your pain Um pathways are non-myelinated because If you were incapacitated by the pain of Burning your hand you wouldn't be able

To move or escape from the you know the Threat kind of thing But what in terms of what we're talking About which is brain performance Um Basically repetition Can lead to more myelination which means That that pathway becomes a faster Conducting pathway for you so something Like resisting the urge to you know eat Junk food or Um like there's crisps so some crisps Over there and last night I made the bad Choice to eat the crisps and Gordon kind Of looked at me and like sighed because I was like whoa there's 200 calories in These and today I didn't I decided to Leave the chips as they were well that Could be to do with time of day because Your willpower also reduces so during The day oh yeah maybe But I mean for me it's mostly about Stimulus control which is that I don't Keep those things yeah it's a yeah it's A lot easier to resist the chocolate Cake if it's not there Um Okay so we've got neurogenesis from Embryonic cells we've got the synaptic Connections and we've got mother nation Yeah such a pleasure talking to you Because most people are like what were Those things again How do we tangibly impact those things So we talked about repetition equals

More myelination and I guess this is Where sort of repetition when it comes To learning stuff as well like space Repetition over time equals more mother Nation presumably Um what other things can we do to Quick Growth brain so I think in real life We don't necessarily need to know which Underlying physiological mechanism we're Affecting but we need to know we need to See the real life result if I'm trying To learn something or do something Differently and it's working or it's not Working I think the easiest way to just Think about those three is that The myelination is like something that You're already good at that it would be Really easy for you to pick up for it to Become your superpower basically Um so for instance and this sounds and I Don't I don't mean this in a boastful way but I've got a friend who's a professor of Neuroscience who plays in a band and I Really admire him for being so good at An instrument but it really irks him That I can just learn a new language so Easily so that's like one of my Superpowers And so I have learned five languages in My lifetime I'm not fluent in all of Them at the moment but if someone said To me you know you know do you want to Learn a new language I'd say yeah

Because I'll probably be quite good at That Um but there are lots of other things That would be much harder for me to Become good at so That would be for for me that would be Like my a grade subject okay when I take That unwillingly because I'd probably Find it not too difficult and I'd Probably be quite good at it so think About what that might be for you and Then Synaptic connection is more like your B Plus which is something that you're not Bad at at all but you don't love and it Doesn't come really easy and naturally But if you worked really hard you could Make that into an a grade And then neurogenesis in adulthood Although There Are embryonic cells Around the hippocampus which is where You know we lay down memories and Learning it's way less than in children So that would be like Well I did I did this I don't feel like Me taking up golf Um I was really bad at it it took me Ages to improve I would have had to give Up my day job to become you know any Level of decent at it so Um it's it's not wise really in Adulthood to take on a learning that's So difficult that it's going to detract From your day-to-day brain performance

Um and in that middle category for me I Would probably put something like Let the Tango quite well not amazingly Improved at tennis taught myself Keyboard you know but I'm never going to Be like performing or anything so that's That's the easiest way to think about Those in your mind like which of those Mechanisms might I be working on because It's really to do with the level of how Difficult it would be for you just a Quick note from one of our sponsors and We'll get right back to the episode and Very excitingly this episode is brought To you by Heights Heights is a brain Care smart supplement that I've actually Been taking for the last 12 months ever Since I became friends with Dan Mariserto who was the founder of heights And who we had on the podcast in season One and this season of the podcast we're Also featuring Dr Tara swart who is a Neuroscientist and psychiatrist so what Is Heights well it's a brain care smart Supplement basically it is a supplement You take two of them every morning like I do it's like these two little capsules Which have omega-3 oil in them and They've got a bunch of multi vitamins as Well they have all of the details on the Website it's every single ingredient They've got is super high quality and The great thing is that just by taking Two of these capsules every morning like

I do you get all of the essential Micronutrients that you need without Having to deal with drinking sludge or Anything fancy like that so the great Thing about Heights is that even if you Don't have one of these absolutely Perfect diets at least you know you have Your bases covered in terms of the Micronutrients that you need it's very Easy to sign up you just go to Yourheits.com and then you sign up to The thing and it's a mail order they get To you every month or in three month Packets and if you use the coupon code Ali 15 that's ali15 at checkout then You'll get 15 off your first three Months of subscription I've been Subscribed to this for the last 12 Months I also happen to be an investor In the company because I believe in the Product and I love how they're fully Evidence-based and absolutely everything They do and if you're interested in the Evidence base behind all like 20 Different ingredients that they've got Here you can check them out on the Website and that'll be linked in the Video description and in the show notes So thank you so much to Heights for Sponsoring this episode so let's say Someone's listening to this and they're Thinking all right cool I know I like I've read Alex's birthday Me I've got I've got a seller thing I

Don't I don't know what to sell I don't Know if I have any skills I don't I Don't I don't know what I could possibly Offer to the world yeah how do we how do We break that down Yeah this is actually a topic that I um I cover more in the leads book that's Coming out soon uh soon relative terms Six months-ish Everybody knows something all right and So the idea is what do you have like Everyone has unique depth of knowledge In certain areas because you've been Alive and your eyes and ears have taken Inputs period right and so I like to Think of of people starting like so if You look at are you familiar with y Combinator Well I said yeah but so yeah yeah so why Combinator is one of the most successful You know uh I don't know if they're Technically VC there's you know seed Capital startup Um investors in Silicon Valley and they Have a very standard gel structure and They have criteria for what they look For in companies and one of the most Important criteria that they look for is Past experience and so they're okay with Somebody who's super young Etc but they Wanna they want you to have experience In the industry because there's just so Much ignorance debt that you have to pay Down if you literally know nothing about

An industry like there's just so much Like if your dad was a mechanic you know So much about cars just by osmosis of Being around a mechanic for 18 years and So I like to think Past jobs you've held you will know Stuff about that industry The jobs of your parents are things that You will know about that industry and Then you've got personal interests and So I think that if I put those into Three buckets it's like parent stuff Past jobs of self and current interests And so it's like of those three things Which of those three buckets do you Think you could help someone do a thing Better And so the idea is You want to sell the most valuable thing Right and so the most valuable thing is What is the problem that I can help Somebody else solve that I could charge The most money for or in reverse that Could make them the most money and then I will be able to charge a percentage of The money that I'm able to make somebody Else in this thing now that's in a B2B Setting in a b2c setting it would be how Valuable do people perceive uh the Problem that they have as right whether It's like I can teach music tons of People want to be able to learn how to And if you're better you know because You've had a side interest in that

Awesome maybe you have a side interest Because you're really good at editing The songs well there's tons of musicians Who would love who hate that part and Would love to have it so it's like we All know how to do stuff and all we have To do is package the thing that we're Doing and I think the big problem is That people expect that they're going to Have a perfect business but if you look At the track record of all of I can't Think of an entrepreneur beside Chef Bezos who's a freak of nature whose First business becomes the most valuable Business in the world is most people Have a graveyard of failures behind them And so the idea is you start not with The intent of saying this is going to be The one thing for the rest of my life Which is the fallacy that employees have That whatever they pick as me they think They're gonna do for the rest of their Lives when in relatives I just have to Do a thing that I'm good enough at that I can learn the game and the thing is Once you start taking steps The Next Step becomes illuminated you trying to Think a hundred steps into the future When you have no context is is Irrelevant because chaos is going to Break your plan anyways and so do what You know exchange I like service Businesses to start because they are the In my opinion the lowest risk to start

Because you're just it's just your time Right so service businesses meaning do Stuff for money Clean houses like whatever like all of Those are just service businesses right And they're fine and a lot of people Think they need to have some novel idea To start a business when I mean the best In my opinion if you're if you're Getting into it the best way to start a Business is just look at what everyone Else is doing and just try and do it Better like that I mean and there's Obvious holes like if you've if you've Gone to if you've gotten your dry Cleaning it's like can I do this in half The time as this guy if I do the lawn Care what are the things people hate About lawn care they leave the the Trimmings around the edges they're all Shitty the person doesn't speak English That well like well cool then I've got Advantages right so it's like what are Things that I already know how to do or I have past experience in what things Because I have past experience I know That other people struggle with that Sucks about this thing and then I will Solve that specific problem and it could Also be a problem that other people Solve too you just try and do a little Bit better like it's it's just not Rocket science you know what I mean and Then you exchange you start selling your

Time for money so yes you're still Trading time for dollars you don't need To read Rich Dad Poor Dad just yet right You're still trading time for a dollar Right but the point is that you're You're you're trading that time for Money in order to learn not to earn you Need to earn in order to pay your pay Your rent eat Etc but the the major Thing you're doing is you're paying down Ignorance debt so the vast majority of Your income is coming in the terms of in The form of Education rather than Earning yeah there's a few a few things That I think are really interesting uh The first is that um I think if if we Think of sort of how an employee thinks Of us as how an entrepreneur thinks We're a business owner an employee sort Of mindset is often sort of the activity That I'm doing where the entrepreneur is More like the problem the specific Problem that I'm solving Um and I found that when people in in Our team have started doing freelance Work and now they have more of an idea Of what a creative business looks like And they can solve a specific problem They're just like oh my God it's so easy To make money whereas before they were Thinking of this service as like oh I am I I offer writing as a service or Something like that but as soon as you Connect it to a problem that preferably

A business has because businesses can Pay for it suddenly the eyes light up And you realize hang on what does money Even mean if I could if it's seemingly So easy to make it Um yeah I I like what you're saying About service based businesses because It's it's not that sexy like when you Hear people on podcasts you don't tend To hear of someone who built a service Based business and it went pretty big You tend to hear the stories of like the Tech entrepreneurs that build it in the Built an Innovative product and stuff Um they don't see the 100 failed Startups like the failure rate on Tech Startups it might like is just as high As everything else except it usually Takes capital and it doesn't take Capital to start service business so With you like my understanding is that You quit your corporate job Um and started that started the gym Business and I wonder if we can kind of Explore explore the story there a little Bit more I can actually even rewind that There was a half step in between there So this is also covered in the leads Book but I'll give a I'll give a sneak Peek so what I did Um is I actually because I'd been Interested in Fitness right that was my Interest so like I had past experience I I was obsessed with Fitness I've been at

That point I was 23. I've been training For eight years I had several State Records so like I was a pretty you know I was pretty into it right and it was to The point where people were asking me For stuff all you know workout programs And things like just because they knew My interest right and so as a as a quick You know Pro tip for everybody if you've Got stuff that people ask you to do for Them because you're good at it maybe You're good at Tech it's like can you Help me set up my like Wi-Fi and stuff You know blah blah blah it's like that Means you're solving problems you can Chart like what people ask you to do as A favor is an indication of the things You can charge for later right so I had all these people who are asking me Uh not all these I mean I had a full People who had asked me for programs and Stuff and so what I did was during my Last year of Consulting I started Something called the free training Project and so the free training project Was I would charge 500 to a thousand Dollars but I would I wouldn't charge it They had to donate that to the charity Their choice in exchange to work with me Right and so that way I wanted people to Value it but they weren't paying me Directly so they'd get it right off they Felt good I had a ton of Goodwill also In the marketplace too because I was

Like I'm doing all this stuff for Charity I got I got all these people Reaching out to me like this is so cool Blah blah blah right And so after a year of doing that I had Probably I don't know 12 really good Test of like great before and after Pictures that I had collected from my Clients and I told them that was part of The deal I was like I'll like you have To donate it I would like to do this for Real later but Um you have to let me use your Testimonial and they were like that's Fine so once I had that Um I had those first you know 10 12 Customers who had who had great before And after pictures Um I transitioned many of those Customers said hey I'm doing I'm going To do this full time now are you Comfortable paying the same amount You're paying to charity except just Making a charity of Alex because Alex Can't eat either and so and that was Actually how I transitioned from Not-for-profit or donating everything And I'd even set up there today I just Told them to to literally donate it and Send me the screenshot I didn't even do Anything like that Um and so I didn't have a website All I had was an LLC and a PayPal Account so like for everybody's like I

Don't know how to start a business I was Like you literally just need a bank Account and a way to process money that Is it like two things and you can Google How to figure out if you can't figure it Out from Google entrepreneurship might Not be for you all right but you look Like think about there's 30 million Business in the United States 30 million Other people have figured this out Which means you can too so bank account Payment processing make the first 10 Free or some sort of charitable thing so That people like don't feel weird or you Don't feel weird about selling Etc after You have it after you're providing the Service to people you can transition People from free service to paid service And if they don't want to start paying You then that gives you insight as to Either you suck right or they suck which Is also possible too but either way A certain percentage of those people Will continue to stay and pay and now You have income now you can also ask Those people for referrals which is Exactly what I did Um so I think half that business came in Just for I got you know the initial ones Came in from friends and family and me Posting and so I was I'll I'll close the Loop on what I said earlier a year later After I had that testimonials I made a Public post being like hey I've got this

Thing now I made a website which is that Was my big enough I made a website I Still have the post I found it it's 2013. I was like I made a I made a Website and uh I I am now open for Business and so if you would like you Know training stuff let me know Um this is what I'm doing now you know I Had some testimonials and go check out The site whatever and so from there I Was able to get I think about 20 guys uh Who were willing to let me do just like Almost bodybuilding type stuff because I Was kind of like what I was powerless Back then and so Um I think I want to say I got 20 guys At 200 bucks a month and so I was making Four thousand dollars a month uh from Those people and it took me four hours Every Saturday to do the Fulfillment Just a quick little break before we get Right back to the episode and that's Today you know that this episode is very Kindly brought to you by short form Short form is the world's best service For reading summaries of books but it's More than just book summaries what short Form does is it basically creates a sort Of study guide for tons and tons of Different non-fiction books from all Sorts of genres from self-help and Personal development to money and History and philosophy it's just got Loads of really interesting books and

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Re-think about kind of my own Motivations for doing things which is Kind of what the elephant in the brain Is about but I found it super helpful to Look at the short form summary to Revisit some of the ideas in the book And this kind of tends to be how I use Short form either I use it as a way of Deciding whether I want to read a book If it's new to me or I use it as a way Of revisiting ideas from books I've Already read so if any of that stands up Your street and you too would like to Try out the world's best service for Summarizing books then head over to Shortform.com forward slash deep dive And firstly that will give you a Completely free five-day trial where you Can try it out and see if you like it And it will also give you 20 off the Annual premium subscription which is the Thing that I personally subscribe to so Thank you so much short form for Sponsoring this episode so I feel like We've got a good uh well a basic kind of Grounding in the importance of Dissocating them in regulating important Aspects of I guess physiology and Psychology Can we talk about Sleep now so I mean I read why we sleep And I've listened to a bunch of podcast Episodes about this but I'd just love to Get your take on a few of these like

Frequently asked questions about sleep So Um I guess the first one that comes to Mind is Six hours seven hours eight hours nine Hours what what's going on there Um I think the key thing for me is that Uh one shoe size doesn't fit all right And uh one of the sort of slight Frustrations that submerged is that an Average value is taken as the optimum Value for all of us and of course it Isn't uh across adults for example Healthy sleep can range from six hours Maybe slightly less than that out to 10 Or 11 hours And so yes there is an average uh but Actually there's so much individual Variation it's it's it's really I think Wrong to impose a specific amount for Each of us and the point of the book to Some extent is to allow people to Define What's optimal for them how do I do that How do you do that so yeah so how do you Know if you're not getting enough sleep Well it's it's the kind of things our Grandparents probably would have told us If asked that question which is that Um do you need a partner or an alarm Clock to wake you up in the morning does It take you a long time to wake up do You crave caffeinated and sugar-rich Drinks during the day to keep you awake Have your friends family colleagues

Reported that you're showing a lack of Empathy increased frustration they may Have noticed that you do stupid and Unreflective things Um and and when given the opportunities To sleep let's say at the weekend and Very notably on holiday do do you find Your sleep patterns change and and it's Really defining what each of us needs And then trying to adopt behaviors that Defend that sleep pattern and and you Know we know for example that the Duration of sleep varies enormously Between individuals but not only that Their timing going back to the molecular Clock uh there are subtle changes which Can make you a morning person or an Evening person but also going going back To light That can contribute to what's called Your chronotype your morningness and Eveningness so morning light advances The clock make you makes you get up Earlier evening light delays the clock Makes you get up later and go to bed Later evening light is in dusk light So dusk delays morning advances the Clock so you're constantly being nudged Backwards and forwards and of course one Of the problems of our society is that We don't get asymmetrical exposure to Light which um can be a problem as in You're not getting an equal amount of Advancing and delaying dawn dusk

Exposure so we looked at a bunch of uh University students around the world Um Australia New Zealand Germany Holland And and in the UK and we show that those Were the latest chronotype those that Like to get up late and go to bed late We're not getting warning light which Would have advanced the clock made them Get up earlier they were missing that They'll be sleeping through the morning But they were getting evening light Which would delay the clock which causes Them to sleep even though yeah so our Sleep timing is dependent upon our Genetics Um uh and when we see light but also There's another factor which is how old We are so from about the age of 10 There's a tendency to want to go to bed Later and later and later peaks in Lateness in males about 21 21 and a half In females about 19. so men tend to be Later for longer and then as we age we Sort of move to a more morning Chronotype the time we're in our late 50s early 60s we're getting up and going To bed at about the time we got up and Went to bed when we were 10. and that Actually changed almost perfectly Correlates with the changing levels of Estrogen and testosterone so that sharp Rise during puberty and then the sort of Decline in into old age so the point I'm Making is that not only is there lots of

Differences between individuals in terms Of their their preference for how long They want to sleep and when they want to Sleep but it changes as we age therefore It's completely Daft to try and Define The optimum sleep you know at stage the Optimum sleep duration you must get Eight hours Um and and I I think it was kicking back Against that Which was one of the reasons for for Writing the book I mean people have Actually come up to me after a public Talk and this is before lockdown and one Person said to me I don't get eight Hours of sleep am I going to die and I Said well I can assure you you're going To die but but it may have nothing to do With your secret and so people have Become Um frightened about their sleep rather Than embracing the Sleep uh that they Get they become anxious about it there There was and it's reinforced by Sleep Apps it's worth bearing in mind that at The moment No Sleep apps are are Um endorsed by any of the sleep Federations or FDA approved and of Course you know when you look at the Validation of many of these these apps Um you'll go into the paper and you'll See it work perfectly for eight Undergraduates you know or uh in California and that's about it but of

Course the point I've just made is that Sleep changes as we um age and between Individuals and so one algorithm is also Not appropriate for telling us what good Sleep is people have come to me and said Oh do you believe in slow wave sleep and I've sort of said yes kind of why and They said well I didn't think I'm Getting any because my app is telling me I don't get any slow way of sleep and of Course these apps are Found the Um uh they're just they can't detect That they don't have the sensitivity to Do that and so people can get very badly Misled so so so there's a sort of the Mantras that are a bit frustrating you Must do this you must do that but it's Reinforced by sleep app saying we had a Good night's sleep or a bad night's Sleep and again we should be listening To our own biology using very Straightforward Um uh sort of criteria that we've just Touched upon nice okay I have another Um potential myth that maybe you can Debunk which I wish I've heard a lot Which is that you might think you can Get by with six hours of sleep but when You're 65 you're more likely to get Dementia and Alzheimer's and stuff so Make sure you get your eight hours yeah It's a good point I mean I would not Want to marginalize the importance of

Sleep absolutely but I do think that we Need to take responsibility for it now If you are in your middle years and you Are you know doing crazy sorts of things In terms of business and all the rest of It and and are chronically sleep Deprived then there is evidence that Chronic sleep deprivation in the middle Years will predispose your risk or Increase your risk to Alzheimer's and Dementia so I think that's a serious Issue but but again it's horses for Courses Um and I think most people know if They're they're not getting the sleep That they need yeah Um how important is it to wake up at the Same time every day I think it is Important because it reinforces all of The sort of signals that regulate the Circadian system so eating at the same Time uh getting light exposure at the Same time that all acts to stabilize However having said that you know There's going to be an occasion where You have a party you're going to get up Late you know and sleep is is is very Dynamic it's it's and I really can't Emphasize one size does not fit at all And and and because it's such a dynamic And variable behavior um we can you know It's it can be tweaked and it's flexible Um yeah the other the other really Interesting myth that so many again

Again people sort of perpetuate the myth It's not only eight hours but it's eight Hours of uninterrupted sleep And and of course what we know from uh Roger Eckert's work uh from his Historical studies looking at sleep Patterns in the pre-industrial era is That human sleep almost certainly wasn't A single eight-hour block uh so so you Hear in the literature I had a wonderful First sleep Um and uh you know I didn't have such a Great second sleep and there's Roger Talks about a wonderful Um French uh Doctor Who says uh young Couples should make love after their First sleep uh when they are less tired And will be better at it I mean you know So you've got this literature which sits Out there and that then encouraged People like Tom Weir to say okay well Let's find out what happens to modern Humans if we bring them into the lab Give them 12 hours of light 12 hours of Darkness and lo and behold you get What's called biphasic uh a couple of Episodes of sleep separated by wake or Indeed polyphasic which is multiple Sleeps with interruptions throughout the Night if you look at all mammals again That wonderful comparative perspective All mammals show they don't show a Consolidated bunch of snake it's it's Polyphasic or biphasic and indeed

Societies today without electric light Show multiple wakings and seepings so That bit of information is not out there And so when people wake up in the middle Of the night think oh my God that's it I'm never going to get back to sleep I'm As I start drinking coffee and do my Emails which is nonsense if they stay Calm you don't necessarily have to stay In bed you can keep the lights low do Something relaxing you will feel tired Again and then go back to sleep I read Somewhere that you had you were into Like mindfulness and meditation and like What was your journey with those things So my mom used to do it and she used to Try to get me to meditate when I had Tourette's and that didn't work so Um many years later Uh it's this is actually during lockdown So I had this crazy experience where I didn't see people very much and and Then when I did for some reason I was Getting so socially anxious And it could be something like sitting In the car with a really good friend Like my best friend I could be in the Car with him And I should basically have a panic Attack And it really came out of nowhere and I'm not sure if it's related to just Stress at the time or I still don't know why it happened but I

I sought out therapy and uh yeah we Worked through it but one of the things The guy recommended was to meditate and So I downloaded the Calm app and uh I I I learned about Experiencing feelings in my body and Thoughts and kind of noticing them for What they are and not taking them as Seriously as I used to but yeah that Said it was still it doesn't just fix it It's not one of those things I think Some people think like if I meditate 10 Times this week everything's gonna be Good you still have there's still other Factors at play but over time it's Definitely kind of helped Um alongside Just doing things again and doing things That I'm uncomfortable with Uncomfortable with so yeah like for Example with podcasts yeah Um You know I'm not asked on that many Podcasts but I've been asked on probably 10 podcasts this year And I've said no to every single one And Because I was like What if I have a Panic attack while I'm doing a podcast Which is you'd probably look at me now And you're like you probably don't seem Like that Um But but yeah so I was avoiding it and

Then I was like I got the DM from you And I'm already getting a lot better Like the last kind of year and a half I've just been trying to do things that Make me scared and I was like okay this Is a great opportunity he seems like a Really nice guy this is not going to be Intimidating and now I'm gonna do it and Even before this I'm obviously I was Pretty nervous Um but But now I've done it I'm gonna probably Do more and so that's also my advice is One is meditating But two if something really scares you Obviously don't jump right into the deep End but try and do it because it's way Worse in your head Uh especially things like sitting in the Car with my friend I mean there's Nothing dangerous about that but Something about that was was giving me Anxiety and you didn't have anxiety Before this Um not so much no no but but I think it Is related Tourette's I mean Tourette's Add bit of OCD all of these things are Kind of related uh so yeah you know uh It's something it's something my you Know my mom struggled with my sister Struggles with so Yeah but I think you know again it's one Of those things which at the time it's It sucks and and so on but if you can

Use it to teach yourself lessons and Also appreciate when you're not feeling Anxious and you're just like wow I feel Normal Um and then you just enjoy simple things Then then it's actually a bit of a power To what what does your meditation Practice look like So it's it's super competitive the Opposite of what meditation should be I Uh no I I basically sit down Um and and listen to to calm what's her Name on calm is this one Teresa is the Name Teresa or something everyone people In the comments will know who I'm Talking about uh and she basically does A guided meditation and I do that Um but sometimes even even before I'm Doing something that's difficult I'll Just take some time to breathe I'll no Matter what happens I'll feel nervous Like I can't stop that and but I'll Notice what that is and I'll be like Okay What's the worst that can happen You can end up in hospital What's the worst that can happen you Could die okay that sucks I'm just Surprising here Okay that's that's what you usually goes To my friend so then what do you do but Let's just go and do it no you gotta you Just gotta and then I just feel like you just you

You breathe You can even get things like this which You might think why do I have this and When I first met you we shook hands and I had it in my hand probably I remember Yeah but this is like it's just like Something I can play with it distracts Me things like that you just come up With your own like come up with your own Stories of things that work for you Maybe going for a run for example in the Morning could also help uh kind of Really stress things like that Um makes life quite fun Trying to like yeah it's coming up with Ways to get through things and then the Best thing is once you finally do Something you're really nervous about or You struggled with in the past and you Actually do it there's no better feeling Like after this podcast I'm just gonna Go home being like yeah yeah I did it Battled through exactly Yeah so this is something I've been I've Been looking into a fair bit I mean Firstly thank you for being so open this Is great like um I'm sure there are People listening to this who have Whoever well that's really originating With all of the things you're saying and Like oh my God thank God someone's Talking about this well I saw I think Saw Lewis Capaldi recently talked about This that's that makes me feel good look

It's not just me so yeah because you're Seeing him struggle makes me feel great Yeah especially with a lot of a lot of The mental health stuff as well like It's it's so easy to think that this is Just the way I am this is normal and That no one else has has those struggles Yeah hearing kind of people like you Being open about it on podcasts it's Just like super nice and yeah thank you I've been Doing a bunch of research for the book That I'm writing around Um like uh energy and and like uh Sympathetic versus parasympathetic Nervous system Um I'll pretend I know what those mean Sympathetic nervous system in a way when You're in sort of stress mode when You're outside yeah and you literally You know this stuff well can you give me A session Yeah I'll give it a go Um but there's is sort of even people Who say that they don't who wouldn't Identify with struggling with anxiety There's some stat that like 75 of the Workforce in at least in the US Feels that sort of sympathetic Activation in that sort of stress Anxious mode while they're at work And you know there's a lot of stuff Around how evolutionarily it made sense That you know there was a bit of a

Threat in the grass and now you want to Be in fight-or-flight mode because you Might have to run away from a tiger but You know having a conversation with your Boss at work or being in the car with Your friend like you wear the the brain Tricks us into being in reactive flight Fight or flight mode And weirdly there's like so much science Around just like deep breathing like you Know short took it sympathetic mode Activates parasympathetics which is like Rest and recharge mode And retraining again I'm not going to Know the words that you know like Retraining those those things in your Brain that kind of Every time at that point when I didn't Want to get in the car I was like every Time I go to a car it just happened And You just gotta slowly learn how to deal With it and eventually you can retrain Your mind not to have that feeling and So that's why you know people who who Get to where they get to it it's from Practice they don't not everyone starts Off super confident and uh and and uh Able to do everything it takes time and That's why I love hearing people like Lewis Capaldi or whoever it is saying Like how difficult it was how have your Attitudes towards money changed from Kind of age 14 thinking of Mercedes-Benz

Cost 500 quid and making you know a few Quit an hour to you know having a Life-changing exit like what was that That Journey So I think at the beginning I think this Also the case with quite a lot of people I think at the beginning I had quite a Scarcity mindset towards money Um I very much was like oh I've got this I have to make sure that you know it Doesn't go And I think over time because I've Proved to myself that I've become the Type of person who can create value and Make money I now approach it with a lot More Abundance a lot more like oh yeah cool That's fine okay this happens this Happens and I'm very aware that it's Very I guess like fortunate uh position To be in but like Think that was a big change was just Going from scarcity to abundance and You know every time you'd hear people Say like you know money doesn't make you Happy Etc it's like like yes that's true But I'm also significantly happier right And like Um Um I'm also significantly happier than I Was Like when I didn't have it so Um those will probably be the two main Ones but I think definitely going from

Scarcity to abundance and actually think A mental trick I should have done when I Was younger was I think I should have Tried to like program my mind to think More in abundance rather than waiting For the money to come to then think in Abundance That was a mistake if I had treated Money as more like uh oh you know like You know it Ebbs and it flows it goes From here it goes from here I just need To become the type of person who can do It blah blah like I would not have held On to things for too long and I also Would not have made certain decisions Which were based out of like I don't Want to lose Um rather than now I'm just like oh cool Whatever so let's say someone's Listening to this and they currently Have a scarcity mindset towards money And they're thinking I'll tell him easy For you to say you've got I know Um that was me yeah uh what would be the Instructions that the the code for the Firmware update to get that mental model Of money the one that's more abundant Rather than scarce assuming you don't Have several zeros after your bank Account balance Money comes as a result of the person That you are and the person that you are Is by and large a consequence of like The skills and the habits that you have

So rather than optimizing for the money Like focus on like skill acquisition Right for example with me I really In our first two years and really in our First yeah three four years All the brands that came to us were due To inbound like they'd come to us rather Than us going directly to them and it's Because we became very good at like Building marketing funnels and all that Stuff that brought in Brands and I Learned those funnels from like again Russell Brunson and all these guys so I'd build all these funnels that'll Become the like foundation of the Business and that will bring people in So I thought more about like the skills I was cultivating and as a consequence Of those skills I was then able to Create something of value and then those Things are valued and made me money so To that you know young person thinking That I'd say yes a I know it's incredibly Um challenging to think like that when You don't have money but it's very Important to focus on like the skills And actually cultivating skills which Can then lead to money which is things Like you know marketing and sales and uh Copywriting things like that like you Want to focus on just like being off Used to the economy because if you're of Like General use in some way people will

Pay you for that and like that's the way That you create value it's almost like Leveling up in a video game yeah if you Want if you want to get the gear to take Down that end game Boss you need to Level up yeah you need to do all this Stuff level up yeah train up to these Different trade skills that's why I was Talking about cheat codes yeah actually With the book Um with a book one of the titles one of The suggested titles was basically Around cheat codes it was like it was Something like It's basically like how to discover the Cheat codes to winning in business and Life or something Dan actually told me Not to go with that title because he Said that you don't want to be linked With the word cheating so I was like Okay cool but but um but I do see it as A game Um I've just you know figuring out the Inputs okay that worked that didn't work Done yeah yeah this is something I was Talking about with um Alexi as well in In the podcast Um this idea that Like I know so many people who who like Come to me and they're like hey Ali you Know you know about this investing stuff You know I'm I'm currently making I Don't know 50k in my job and I'm saving 10 and I want to put it in the you know

Index funds or like individual stocks And I'm like I mean the right answer is index funds But actually the that's the wrong answer Because what you're gonna earn three Four six percent and when you're 55 then Then you'll be good like instead if you Can find a way to invest those things in Your own education yeah so that you Become the sort of person who then can Command a premium yeah and can just make Money yeah individual that's way more Roi positive yeah and the way homozy Describes it is that it's investing in The s p versus the S and me oh that's Good there you go yeah I mean you know Like people talk about companion Interest but you almost want to you know Compound yourself yeah like that's way Better if you if you The Returns on compounding yourself are Way more than any stock right yeah than You could ever More than any crypto yeah and I guess Almost the there's like a tier list of This almost where it's like most like The the top returns are encompanying Yourself the second top returns are are In investing in your own business yeah And then worst case scenario S P 500 Okay once you once you have literally no Other options and the money's just Sitting there burning a hole in your Account yeah okay fine yeah let's try

And go for seven percent to be inflation But like there are so many options Beyond that point yeah but I think People default to oh I should invest Because especially I think in Traditional Fields like I know so many Doctors who feel like they don't have Any skills outside of medicine how do You make money investing is the only Option yeah um rather than I actually Could start a business yeah I could Learn how to do that yeah you want to Almost like see yourself One of the things that I say to friends Is that you want to see yourself as like A SIMS character oh okay tell me more That you're almost just like there and You're playing Sims and like you're the Character and then it's like okay go Left all right cool it's like go to gym I go to the gym I do this all right do Not eat now okay I shall not eat now Right like I type on laptop right cool So When you have a SIMS character and you Just like tell it to do stuff it just it Just like goes and does stuff and I've Often tried to see my life as a bit of a SIMS character like I am now in good Shape and beforehand I was not in good Shape and I was like okay what are the Two things that I need to do to be in Good shape well eat less move more done Right so I eat less so sometimes I'll be

Hungry and I'm like well I'm not gonna Eat now okay I don't eat right Um I'm not gonna you know move more gym Cool I now go to the gym so I think I Treat myself almost like a SIMS Character because I'm just like whoa Foreign if a SIMS character can do it Then why can't you you know Um that's kind of the mentality that I Have towards us life in general of it There are certain components to deep and Lasting attraction You have chemistry Um Perceived value Perceived challenge And connection The reason I like this model is because When you look at this you can usually See you can sort of self-diagnose Where something may be going wrong Chemistry is interesting because there's Certain there's a certain intangible There and an unknown there and not we Certainly can't control all of it but we Can control some of it you know with the Way the way that we look how well we Take care of ourselves the way we move Importantly is a big factor in chemistry Um which is why you can sometimes see Someone in photos and think they're Really attractive and then you meet them In real life and you kind of go Oh weird I don't feel the same way it's also why

You can get back from a date and and say Oh my God I just had this amazing date With this incredibly hot person and if You show pictures of that person to your Friends they're like Okay yeah I guess you know because you you were There yeah you were there you saw how They move how they smile how they Gesture how they their micro Expressions So there's certainly things we can do to Affect chemistry uh and obviously you Can create tension too which is a big Factor in chemistry in chemistry then There's perceived value and perceived Value is all these things that that we Are and do that bring value to the table It might be our personality uh it might Be the things that we're good at in life It might be our life the life that we've Built Um can sometimes be our friends and Family you know sometimes you meet Someone's friends and family and you go Whoa this is what a life this is to come Into they have an amazing group of People around them so much love so much So there's a lot of ways for perceived Value to to manifest itself then there's Perceived challenge And the interesting thing about Perceived value is it goes down Regardless of how many things are in That category

If there's no perceived Challenge And perceived challenge is not uh The kind of I don't know a typical way of thinking About it I guess would be like hard to Get It's not that's a cheap way to create Challenge because the problem with hard To get is you can't keep it up forever The moment you oh God yeah If someone's if your attraction was Built around the getting then you can't Sustain it But if The the real beautiful sustainable way To create challenge is for there to be Uh for your value to have a price Okay what do you mean That your value doesn't come for free Your value is something that has to be Earned By the someone showing up in the way You're prepared to show up by someone Being prepared to make the kind of Sacrifices you're prepared to make for Someone Um by someone giving to you on a level That you're willing to give respecting You on a level that that you respect Them Um And also not giving someone too much Credit too quickly That's a a big problem when we come from

A needy place when we come from a place Of insecurity we start giving people Credit they don't deserve yet I just met them I just had the most Amazing date with the most amazing Person oh my God they're incredible Based on what Based on how on what basis what Information could you have possibly got On one date That enables you to say this You You have been seduced by a kind of charm Charisma maybe the fact that you did Something really fun on the day the fact That they made you laugh a lot the fact That they told stories about their past That made them relatable or sympathetic Or seem really authentic all of that is Great I'm not I'm not saying be Inherently suspicious I'm saying You don't know yeah You don't know so on what basis are you Giving them all of this value already Based on projection And based on insecurity this immediate Putting them on a pedestal and putting Yourself down here and when someone Smells that They don't see an equal anymore And that's that's what I mean when I say Challenge I don't mean artificially Constructing Games or Hoops for people to jump

Through I mean that the the criteria you have For someone has to be real yeah it has To be real like It's you and I met today for the first Time Really enjoying our conversation hope You are too absolutely you know but we Don't know each other yet as friends you Don't know if I'd be reliable if you Needed something you don't know if I Would show up to support you if Something went wrong in your life you Don't know you don't know any of that So You know it would be dangerous to go Away and make a an assessment on how Great of a friend I would be yep based On this exchange it what what you would Hope in an organic situation is that you And I go This was really really fun we got on Really well this was a great Conversation I would like to get to know This guy better that would be like it'd Be really cool if we could hang out Outside of the podcast But it's not I have to be friends with With Ali you know like we I have to Because he's a he's an amazing guy you Know like yeah that's that now that's Projection that's dangerous because I'm Basing that on the fact that you're Clearly outwardly a very impressive

Human and what you've achieved what You've done is very impressive and you Seem to have had a really amazing kind Of impact on a lot of people and those Are all amazing things those are amazing Things in their own right It's not about devaluing those But I have no idea what your value would be As a friend Until we try being friends And the mistake people make in dating Commonly Is they look at someone's Stats How Charming were they how charismatic Were they how successful are they Um you know where are they in their life What kind of person do they seem to be But none of that exists in relation to To you That's all just you admiring What this person has or is But none of it says this person is going To be a great boyfriend or a great Girlfriend none of it says they're going To be loyal none of it says they're Going to be reliable none of it says They're going to be a great teammate all It says is this person seems on these Metrics To be attractive and in any relationship You have to go through for for in terms Of importance you have to go through

Four stages One is admiration that's just where I Can see someone and admire them from Either up close or far wow this person's Pretty impressive and attractive not Very important in the stages not Important yeah necessary but not Important yep Then there's uh a connection Or chemistry you both you need you know That's the next stage of do we feel Connected to each other and is there a Kind of chemistry all right now it's Slightly more important because now it Becomes Mutual yeah now it's not just me Admiring you it's oh there's something Between us yeah Not important Because necessary yeah but not important How many people have ruined their lives Over the fact that they had chemistry With someone even when that person was a Terrible partner a terrible person to Base their their decisions on The next stage is uh Commitment Okay I admire you we have mutual Chemistry and connection and we're both Actually saying yes to each other I deal With people every day where they have This stage But that person isn't saying yes They're saying yeah I'd like to see you This Friday

At 11 o'clock But they're not saying yes to an actual Relationship So you need commitment to go to the next Stage of importance but many people are Treating something like it has total Importance even though they're only at The second stage so you need a yes you Need commitment Now you would say if you've got that That's the most important thing you can Have you've got someone you admire You've got someone you have a connection With in chemistry and you've got someone Who is committed It would seem like that was everything But that kind of idea is it Virgil would Love conquers all love does not conquer All Two people saying yes to each other Doesn't Make for a long-term relationship you Also have to have the fourth stage of Importance which is compatibility yeah Are you actually compatible because if You're not You can say yes I want to be with you Yes I'm committed But that lack of compatibility will show Up in ways that will make both of you Miserable well what do you mean by Compatibility it could be anything it Could be my idea of a good time is Staying home watching movies and yours

Is constantly traveling around the world It could be your idea of a good time is Going out and drinking and doing drugs And I don't want to live that life and We've both said yes to each other But The you know our idea of what is a good Life is completely different or our idea Of loyalty is completely different your Idea of loyalty is that I don't have sex With anyone my idea of loyalty is that You don't emotionally cheat on me In the texts you send yep you know that We've both said yes to each other we Have admiration connection commitment And yet I am miserable because of what Your definition of loyalty is So compatibility is do we both want to Live the same kind of life and and do Our values line up and do we both have The same idea two people can say I value Kindness but we can have very different Standards For what kindness actually means So Without that stage so many things go Wrong my What what I mean to say with all of this Is that We lose our value in dating When we stop paying attention To the appropriate level of importance At different stages If you

Take stage two I found someone I have a connection with As the be-all end-all and the thing that You Martyr yourself in service of You lose all your value You you are now the person who spends a Lifetime uh accepting really poor Treatment from someone because every Time you see them it's amazing you don't Understand when we're together it's so Good it's so incredible they're so there For me that the sex is amazing the Chemistry is amazing we have such Amazing conversations What's the problem I haven't heard from Them in two weeks But Matt you don't understand the Connection is incredible you don't know Like this this is really important to me Why Why because you you have miscalculated The value of stage two and when you do That you lose your value because someone Realizes your value what you're willing To give has no price It's free it does not need to be earned So your perceived challenge Drops and when you're perceived when There's no challenge to you when someone Realizes your value has no price Then you lose respect and you and you End up losing real value as a result Which is crazy but I know it all sounds

Kind of heady but it You know it really this stuff is real Whether you whether when someone There'll be people listening to this uh Guarantee there'll be someone in the Comments Who says oh does it all need to be so Difficult can't you just be yourself and The answer is no Because you may not be doing the things That make you confident or that show Your real value you shouldn't be uh Someone you're not But people Define being themselves as Holding on to all of their the things That make them make bad decisions or That make them uh their trauma or the Things that they haven't healed or the Things that make them chase after Someone who will ruin their life that's Not being yourself that's that's not Healing that's not doing the things that Are necessary for you to attract a much More quality version of connection and Love in your life you have written and Talked a lot about the concept of row Yeah what is row so pronounced rule in Swedish it's just another word I don't Think anyone really thinks about it more Than any other word but it's a word that Doesn't have Um direct translation to any other Language that I know of at least not English basically what it means

Through is just like calm Tranquility Peace Um so if you've had like a long day you Might say in Swedish I Just want some peace and calm or I want to find a place to have some rule Um And I started because A lot of But somehow my philosophy in life is Goes back to rule essentially means that Even at the end of the day if I've had a Long day or stressful day I always want To feel like I'm coming back to a place Where I feel like I can rest and relax And feel it calm On the inside and I try to create those Habits In my everyday life I want my home to be That place I want to have that feeling With my close relationships where I can Feel like this person Gives me some rule as opposed to the Opposite of giving me stress or anxiety Or Um Yeah so I think that's just where it Started I was like this is a great word And more people should know of this word Or concept and I started my newsletter Named it Monday Monday I think I haven't Been writing a lot there but um Basically just writing

Stories of rule or tips on Rue and Things like that and a lot of people Enjoyed it and resonated with the Concept of just wanting more through in Their lives and that's how that was born Yeah Um how how does one go about finding Um good good pronunciation Um Give me different things to different People so like having it all in the Morning to me is just Not feeling stressed in the morning and Waking up early enough to where I can Have a coffee and sit on my couch and Cuddle my dog and not have to hurry Anywhere or feel like I'm Stressed out and that I'm well rested so That's just a way if I need it or I love Taking long walks and not listening to Anything and just enjoying the walk with No sounds and to me that's true so I Think It means different things to different People but I think the feeling is just Simply It's a bit meditative where it's like It's like the feeling where you're Taking a long walk in the forest or Something and you don't have any Distractions other than bird sounds or You know the sound of bushes or whatever Something that is just very peaceful and Calming and

Yeah I think it's going to be different Things for different people but you're Gonna know if you start paying attention To your day like where do I feel like I'm At ease where do I feel like no one is Bothering me there's like a calm feeling Throughout my body and I'm just being And What is that to you can you identify Anything like that in your life yeah Yeah very much so I was just thinking as You were saying about that like your Whole vibe is very like Rue how nice Very like kind of Zen kind of like calm And tranquil and It's just a sort of just like sitting Here talking to you is making me just Feel a bit more calm I'm just like yeah This is falling asleep I had a nice Conversation I feel like I'm relaxed I Feel like I'm I'm energized and well it Was sort of like uh being energized Through being relaxed yeah rather than Being energized through being like Frantic almost yeah so it's not Necessarily to me it's not like feeling Sleepy or you know taking a nap it is Feeling energized but through something Very simple and calming so journaling Can be pretty Pretty much that as well depending on What you're writing about that you're Ranting about a recent heartbreak maybe

It's not very robot Can you find anything specific in yeah So I've been thinking about this sort of Concept A Lot recently Um because with the book that I'm Working on Um The core thesis I guess is that You know for me productivity has always Been about trying to trying to get Energy from my work so that I can give Energy to the things that I want to do Outside of work And I find that the way I get energy From my work is by approaching it in This sort of With lightness and ease and tranquility And remembering to have fun with it and Remembering that I don't need to be stressed out and I Think it's it's easy to And even even had this when I when I Wasn't working for myself so when I was Working as a doctor it's it's very easy To sort of approach it with a frantic Energy of like oh all this Needs to be done and stuff Yeah Um and I found that on days where I Would have that attitude towards it I Would just feel completely drained and It wasn't fun But on days where I had exactly the same To-do list but I approached it with a

Sense of I've got a lot of things to do today This is going to be fun yeah Um there's a there's a quote from Gray's Anatomy where um Patrick Dempsey the Neurosurgeon he always starts his Operations with uh it's a beautiful day To save lives let's have some fun nice And I sometimes think about that as Being like that is actually a way of Approaching anything it's a beautiful Day to save lives let's have some fun Regardless of what's actually happening In the thing and so I try and remind Myself to do that with with work staff Or whenever I feel frantic or harried in Any kind of way yeah just taking that Breath I mean like no it's all good and I can Choose to approach this with I guess Root rather than yeah totally I think I Think attitude is like I know some People get annoyed when you talk about Just have a positive attitude or a good Attitude but I really think that it does So much to how you approach things and How you see things like if I think to Myself okay I have to create this video This week and I have to do this and that And I kind of stress myself up Of all the things that I have to do and Accomplish and the time that I have Doing it in deadlines I'm just going to Be stressed out I'm not going to enjoy

The process as much and it's probably Not going to turn out as well either Because it's going to start feeling like This thing that I just have to do rather Than this thing that I want to do If I Instead try to be like okay I have To write the script I'm gonna grab my Coffee I'm gonna sit on the couch I'm Gonna put my dog in my lap and we're Gonna go about this and Somehow we feel like if we have more of A calm approach to things we're not as Productive you know it's not as Efficient you kind of I can at least feel sometimes like okay Why am I not feeling Too stressed about this does that mean That I'm slacking even if I'm getting as Much done and getting it done better Than I would have had otherwise There's something Enemy and maybe you and other people Where you kind of feel like being Productive means that you need to feel Like you're running around and you're Doing this and that and you're switching Between tasks and you're like you want To feel a little bit stressed that can Sometimes make you feel like you're Being more productive whereas if you're Drinking coffee and you're just kind of Having this calm Vibe you might feel Like you're not being as productive even If you are so I'm just trying to lean

Into the fact that I can actually Approach things Be more Chill with that Gray's Anatomy quote Attitude and I can still heal the same Results and enjoy the process a lot more Yeah Yeah have you come across uh Derek Sivers I don't think so he's like this Uh you know he used to be an Entrepreneur I sold his money a sold his Company for a lot of money and then Decided to live the chill life of kind Of doing what he wants and he's he's Written a couple of really good books About like like intentional living and Stuff Um but there's a really good story that He talks about of how you know he I Think he used to live in like Australia Or something and he used to sort of Cycle the length of some psychopath and He would always try and like go as fast As possible and he'd be like okay you Need to beat 42 minutes need to be 42 Minutes and 42 minutes was his number Um and then one day he decided you know What I'm just gonna take a chill like I'm actually good I'm not gonna huff and Puff I'm gonna enjoy and I'm gonna enjoy The cycle ride as I'm going along and You know he was like I'm not going to Turn myself I'm just going to go around The cycle you know I'm gonna um might

Like waver some people along the way Listen to the birds I really enjoy Myself and he gets back home and he Looks at his clock and it's 44 minutes And he's like well for the last Like six months have I just been huffing And puffing for the sake of two minutes Like what the yeah and now he like I think there's a a wider message in That yeah Huffing and puffing actually does not Necessarily lead to the outcome that you Think it's going to get to alright so That's it for this week's episode of Deep dive thank you so much for watching Or listening all the links and resources That we mentioned in the podcast are Going to be linked down in the video Description or in the show notes Depending on where you're watching or Listening to this if you're listening to This on a podcast platform then do Please leave us a review on the iTunes Store it really helps other people Discover the podcast or if you're Watching this in full HD or 4k on YouTube then you can leave a comment Down below and ask any questions or any Insights or any thoughts about the Episode that would be awesome and if you Enjoyed this episode you might like to Check out this episode here as well Which links in with some of the stuff That we talked about in the episode so

Thanks for watching uh do hit the Subscribe button if you aren't already And I'll see you next time bye

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