Rubbing People the Wrong Way: How to Handle Inevitable Conflicts

Inevitable conflicts are an unavoidable aspect of life, but when you rub people the wrong way, the situation can quickly escalate. Whether it be in the workplace, with family, or in personal relationships, disputes can leave you feeling disillusioned and stressed out. However, there are strategies you can employ to handle these conflicts and build stronger relationships in the process. In this post, we will explore effective ways to diffuse tensions and resolve disputes, so you can navigate the difficult situations that come your way with grace and ease.


Conflicts are an inevitable part of life that we all must learn to handle. Whether it’s in our personal or professional lives, we will eventually encounter situations where we rub people the wrong way. It could be a result of our actions, words or even our accomplishments. In such situations, it is natural to feel anxious, scared and unsure of how to move forward.

Recently, there was a thought-provoking video published on YouTube channel Valuetainment by Patrick Bet-David. The video titled “Don’t Be Afraid To Suck at The Next Level” and labeled as #shorts had an inspiring message about embracing shortcomings and facing fears on the path to success. Patrick talks about the fears of moving up to the next level and potentially losing the support of people who liked us before. He advises to not be afraid to suck at the next level and to understand why some people may not like us anymore. He also shares his own experience of losing friends as he moved up to a higher income level.

This video is relevant for individuals who are looking to make a significant improvement in their personal and/or professional lives. In this article, we will discuss some effective ways to handle conflicts when we rub people the wrong way.

How to Handle Inevitable Conflicts

1. Acknowledge and Accept the Situation

The first step in handling conflicts when we rub people the wrong way is to acknowledge and accept the situation. Trying to deny or ignore the issue will only make things worse. We must recognize that conflicts are a natural part of life and it’s okay to not be liked by everyone. By accepting the situation, we can move onto finding solutions and manage the conflicts in a more effective way.


  • Take a moment to acknowledge your own feelings about the situation. Are you feeling anxious, scared or unsure? Accepting and understanding our own emotions will help us to address the situation more calmly and effectively.

2. Listen and Communicate

The best way to handle conflicts is to communicate and listen actively. Try to understand the other person’s point of view and listen actively to their concerns. By taking the time to understand the other person’s perspective, we can find common ground and work together to resolve the conflict.


  • Use “I” statements when communicating. For example, instead of saying “You are always criticizing me,” you can say, “I feel hurt and criticized when you say those things.”

3. Find Common Ground

Finding common ground is crucial when dealing with conflicts. Try to identify areas of agreement and mutual interest. By finding common ground, we can establish a foundation for resolving the conflict in a positive way.


  • Use open-ended questions to start a conversation and encourage dialogue. For example, “What can we do differently to avoid conflicts in the future?”

4. Give and Receive Feedback

Effective feedback is essential in resolving conflicts when we rub people the wrong way. We should be open to receiving feedback from others and be willing to give feedback when necessary. The feedback should be specific, fact-based and given in a supportive manner.


  • Use “I” statements when giving feedback. For example, “I appreciate your hard work, but I noticed that you missed the deadline for the project.”

5. Apologize Sincerely

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, conflicts may not be resolved. In such situations, it is important to apologize sincerely. A genuine apology can go a long way towards mending relationships and resolving differences.


  • When apologizing, take responsibility for your actions and express regret. For example, “I am sorry for my behavior. It was wrong and I should not have acted that way.”


Handling conflicts when we rub people the wrong way is never easy, but with the right approach, it can be managed effectively. By acknowledging and accepting the situation, communicating and listening actively, finding common ground, giving and receiving feedback, and apologizing sincerely, we can resolve conflicts and maintain positive relationships with others. Remember, conflicts are a natural part of life and we should embrace them as opportunities for growth and development.


  1. How can I handle conflicts without becoming defensive?
    Ans: Try to acknowledge and understand the other person’s point of view. Use active listening skills and focus on finding common ground.

  2. What if the other person refuses to communicate or listen to my point of view?
    Ans: In such situations, it is important to remain calm and patient. Take a break and come back to the issue at a later time.

  3. How can I give feedback in a supportive manner?
    Ans: Use specific, fact-based language and be sure to couch any criticism in positive terms.

  4. What if I feel like the other person is always the one causing conflicts?
    Ans: It’s important to recognize that conflicts often involve contributions from both parties. Take responsibility for your own role in the conflict and work towards finding a resolution.

  5. How can I move forward when a conflict cannot be resolved?
    Ans: Sometimes conflicts cannot be resolved, but it’s important to learn from the experience and move forward. Focus on maintaining positive relationships and avoiding similar conflicts in the future.

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