Should You Make Compromises In Relationships?

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For me this idea of compromises I don't Want to do this while I'll do it for you Because I love you no no no no that is Not love that is fear and what will Happen It will then become a transaction I'll Start to my mind will begin to tally up But you know I gave up this for you and I compromised here and I compromise There and I compromise there and then I'll say well how much are you Compromising I feel like I'm doing all the Compromising the relationship and you're Just doing what you want to do and it Levels it as a transaction And where there is it where there is Transaction there is no love and where There is love there is no transaction so It's less like you know if you're saying To me hey Ali I I really don't like it When you wear trainers rather than you Know I prefer you to wear smart shoes at That point it compromise would mean for Me to be like All right well I guess I guess I should Wear smarter shoes because that's what That's what you want but a choice would Be okay I understand the context I'm Coming from from a place of love I understand the effect that my trainers Have on your psyche and I know that You're working on controlling that for Yourself

But actually I can choose to make the Choice that to me wearing trainers is Not something I'm particularly wedded to It's not something that's like such a Fundamental part of my being that it Feels like it's it feels like I'm Compromising my true self I'm making the Choice to wear brokes rather than Trainers Is that the kind of mindset shift we're Talking about love could also be I understand that that hurts you But I love these trainers and I feel Comfortable in these trainers and it Wouldn't honestly it doesn't feel right Me changing the way I drive to for you To feel happy and this is actually me And if if my trainers I love the example If my trainers are creating that much Pain and upset for you then maybe we Need to look at this Because I actually Don't think this is a change that I want To make And it's not because I don't love you And it's not because I don't respect you It's because it doesn't feel right to me To begin to change in that way And then you see where it goes the thing About This compromise I've seen so many times Is that we have to be careful that we Don't begin to start to make all these Small little changes yeah for the other

Person Because we're afraid it would create Conflict Because if you were truly living In line with your truth And this person ends up getting Triggered and upset We'll figure out really quite quickly Whether or not this is working yeah I had you know an example of with Countless but one comes to mind where We're looking and seeing how uh One of my clients had changed over time During the relationship and the the Marriage had ended up in In uh in adultery and collapsing And what we identified is that yes but If I hadn't if I had been true to myself She would have got upset yeah okay how Often would that have happened every day Really every day how many times like Literally 10 15 times a day if I'm like So if you lived if you had lived true to Yourself from when you met her 10 15 Times a day she would have got upset and Angry yes how long would that Relationship have lasted for A week yeah two weeks You're Gonna Learn very very quickly It's not working out instead of what Three years five years ten years And then you realize actually whenever I Am truly myself There is no acceptance and love and

Appreciation instead there's just Hurt and upset and conflict hey friends Thank you so much for watching if you Enjoyed this clip then click here for The full unedited episode and if you Like that then do please consider Subscribing to the channel it means a Lot thank you so much and have a great Day bye

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