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The thing that causes the greatest Amount of suffering is craving an Attachment So if you're so involved in sort of Doing this thing to help others [Music] And you do it so much that it harms Yourself then uh and and that you know Being able to say you know I helped a Tent like effective altruist I help 10 000 people today the ROI here is Incredible yet you know you've been up For days at a time you're exhausted you Have no relationship with anybody that's Not a healthy thing and if you don't Make it to whatever that goal is then You start all these self recriminations Saying you know I knew I could you know It wasn't real I couldn't really do it I Tried but you know I wasn't good enough And I wasn't worthy and I don't really Deserve this and I'm an imposter by Telling people that I'm trying to do This and you beat yourself up well That's only causing you suffering so if You sit there and say you know my goal Is to let's say help ten thousand people Or whatever it is And you sit there and you help eight Thousand you go you know I did an Incredible job was it exactly what I Want to know but I'm okay because at the End of the day I did an incredible job And you know even for some of the stuff
I do and do I have dreams and Aspirations about helping people Of course and a zillion times I've not Been able to do what I wanted and and uh And I failed and I made mistakes and uh Um and it's Painful for myself but I'm still a Worthy person deserving of love right One thing I want to talk he said You've had like by any sort of Definitions of success like stupidly Large amounts of success Um a lot of Books I've read from people from people Who are very successful they often Lament that they didn't spend enough Time on their relationships when they Were sort of on the road to that success I wonder if you can can speak to that at All maybe in your life or if you were to Give advice for other people who are all Sort of aiming for Success this balance Between taking care of your personal Relationships alongside the Climbing the mountain So let me give some information that Correlates or relates to our Conversation on compassion I'm sure you're aware of the blue zones In the world the butt nurse work I think It is Butner Um So these are places in the world uh I'm Sure many of your listeners have heard
Of this where you know people live Routinely over a century And uh Why is that And this is Substantiated by a number of studies So one part of it which people will Claim is these are people who eat a Mediterranean diet Uh who exercise who are at their ideal Body weight who don't drink alcohol and There's no question that is a Significant contributor but by far far Multitudes more important is depth of Relationships and human connection that Is the secret sauce all the other stuff Can be a benefit Uh but the secret sauce of of actually Longevity is human relationships and Connecting with others and and what does That involve it involves having Generosity Uh um Be non-judgmental Being accepting And of course those are the fundamentals Of how to develop relationships and You're right there are some people are So goal or in it and in fact they have No problem stepping on other people To get what they want because they want Some external validation And probably there's some degree of in Security that they want to hold that
Over other people uh but you know that's Not going to create happiness or Longevity and I'm sure you know uh a Number of let's and I hate to beat up The hedge fund business But uh uh You know they're people who are you know In that uh business of making money for The sole purpose of making money at Whatever cost uh and uh uh you know they Work ridiculously hard uh and is it Great to live in a big Penthouse and Drive sports cars and hang out with Supermodels I suppose I'm being I've been in that Position on some level and frankly I at The end of the day my whole life I felt Was completely empty I had tons of External people going man dude you live In this incredible life you know you've Got this Penthouse and you know you've Got this Ferrari and you're dating Someone so man you should be so happy And I I was never happy in that Situation I was miserable actually and It and to the point where I couldn't Understand because I did all of this Stuff And I was miserable when all my friends Said would say God if I was in your Position I would be so happy right now But again if it's all about the money or All about the you know killing yourself To get some external validation you're
You're going to be unhappy uh at least You know that's been my personal Experience in my uh observation hey Friends thank you so much for watching If you enjoyed this clip then click here For the full unedited episode and if you Like that then do please consider Subscribing to the channel it means a Lot thank you so much and have a great Day bye
